Telling people you have MS

I hate telling people I have MS. Not because I’m embarrassed, or I want to hide it, it’s just hard to explain to somebody who doesn’t know much about it. People have perceptions of MS and the reaction you normally get from someone when you tell them is:

• But you’re not in a wheelchair…
• I would have never have guessed, you look fine (looks you up and down)
• I thought only old people got MS

If anything, it’s more of an awkward conversation and no matter how much you explain it, only other people with MS will really know how you’re truly feeling - just like any illness, I can be as sympathetic as possible towards someone who has broken their leg but I’ve never experienced myself so I don’t really know what they’re going through.

When I was first diagnosed my nurse told me ‘you don’t have to tell anyone you have it if you don’t want to’ so stuck to that for a while in exception to my close friends and family. But last year I started seeing a boy who I was starting to really like. It was at the same time as I was running the GNR for The MS Society so I felt it was a good time to tell him. It was at a good stage in our relationship where I would understand if he wanted to walk away at that point, but at the same time I would have been gutted if he had.

Of course, he didn’t and we’re celebrating our first-year anniversary this weekend and I couldn’t have asked for a more supportive boyfriend – cheesy!

I’m lucky enough to have a group of supportive friends and family who are always there if I need to talk. However, I tend to not bring my MS up with them that often as I don’t want sympathy from anyone -but I do think it’s important to tell people how you feel.  

I suffered a relapse earlier this year which meant I couldn’t drive, type or answer the phone properly at work. Someone then told me about a scheme called access to work who assess your working environment. This meant that I was able to get the support I needed. A few years back I wouldn’t have admitted I needed help but as I’ve grew older I’ve realised people are there to help you, like you’re there to help them if they need it.

My point is, as it becomes more and more common with younger people, we must take advantage of the people around us as those are the people who will help you stay sane!