Monday, October 22, 2018

Dealing with Multiple Sclerosis and relapses...


There’s many types of MS - primary-progressive, secondary-progressive and relapsing remitting. I have relapsing remitting which means I suffer from relapses.

 A relapse is defined by healthcare professionals as - Old symptoms of MS worsening or new symptoms appearing.

Instead of depressing you on how tough a relapse is, I’ll tell you some of the funny stories from some incidents that have happened when I’ve had a relapse. 

I’ve had four main relapses so far – two before I was diagnosed and two after. When I was 16, I lost the feeling in both of my legs, I couldn’t walk properly, and I would get a pins and needles sensation. At this point I didn’t know what was going on so didn’t really know what to do. One day I was at church and I had to go up to the alter because I was making my confirmation that year. I got all the way down to the bottom and looked at my feet and realised I only had one shoe on… Tip number 1 never wear little ballet pumps when you can’t feel your feet, they won’t stay on!

Then a couple of weeks later, I still couldn’t feel my legs when we went to Light Water Valley. First ride we went on was the Ultimate and as it started it broke down! We got passes to go on later in the day when it was fixed so me and one of the girls decided to go on before we left the park. The bus was leaving in 15 minutes, but we thought we’d have enough time… we did not have enough time and ended up running back to the bus - well she ran I had to walk extremely fast and it looked like my legs were about to fall off! Tip number 2 don’t run across a theme park when you can’t even walk!

Then when I was 18, I lost the feelings in my arms and my hands were crippled, I couldn’t hold things, write or type. We went to the Ice Bar while we were in London, we decided to get a cocktail each which wasn’t the cheapest drink I’ve ever bought but guess who dropped it all over – yes me! Tip number 3 never buy expensive drinks when you can’t hold them!

Then earlier this year my old relapses came back when I was changing treatments. I lost the feeling in my right hand and my left leg went. At the time me and my boyfriend were on holiday in Texas so this stopped us walking up the Enchanted Rock – I think he was secretly quite happy about that though! The relapse got worse as the holiday went on and I would get a spasm every so often when I was sleeping and would either kick him or throw the quilt off him. I don’t really have a tip for this one except tell your boyfriend to stay in a different bed when you lose the feeling in your leg.

Although relapses are hard to deal with, I always think it’s best to make the best of a bad situation and laughing at yourself always helps!  

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

It’s okay not to be okay…

Today is #WorldMentalHealthDay something until recently has never been a big thing. I think in the past, people have never realised how important it is - I'll admit I was one of those people...

But when I relapsed earlier this year I realised ‘wow shit’ this mental health malarkey can really affect people, and this is when I realised it’s just as important as your physical health.

I was angry and upset, I didn’t realise at the time, but I was a mess. I didn’t want to get dressed up, I wasn’t bothered about talking to people, I was getting angry over stupid things and I was generally down, but I was trying to be strong so I would never admit that I was struggling.

Then one day I woke up and felt a lot more positive than I had been, so as pathetic as it sounds, I washed my hair put some tan and make up on and went out for a walk with two of my best friends - the littlest thing made me feel 1000 times better. 

You’re not always going to be smiling, even if you’re the richest person in the world but I think it’s important to realise how you feel/act when you’re not okay. I get angry, I go quiet (which is very unusual if you know me) I get upset to the point where someone could say something to me and I would burst into tears. This is when I know I need to take myself away from a situation and do something  I enjoy – the gym is probably my go to place when I feel down.

I’ve always been quite a positive/optimistic person, even when I was diagnosed with MS, I didn’t really think too much into it but at the time I was young and had other things to think of. 2018 has really been an eye opening to me and I’ve now realised just because someone has a smile on their face, doesn’t always mean they are in a good place!

Whether it's a relative, a friend, a GP or a charity like M.I.N.D, there's always someone to talk to even when you think there's not. 

Remember mental health is just as important as your physical health and it’s okay not to be okay - be kind to people because you don't know what's going on behind that smile!